Staal Falls

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The Pens seem to be on something of a roller coaster lately. Last week's rematch against the Bruins was one of the best games I've ever seen. Billy Guerin rescued the Penguins by scoring the last goal in regulation, with .4 seconds remaining to tie up the game. Pascal Dupuis proved to be the real hero of the game, bringing the Pens an overtime victory and scoring his 100th career goal. Well done, Dupuis.

The next game against the Senators did not go so well, mostly due to poor defense, but the Pens didn't sink into a slump this time. With Malkin, Gonchar and Talbot back on the ice, the latter for one of the first times this season, last night's game against Atlanta fell in the Penguins' favor.

++Times Jordan Staal fell: 2

++Most players involved in a Staal fall: 1

++Falls resulting in a goal: 0 (though he did score, so well done there)

++Number of times Malkin landed in the box: 1 (it could have been more, but he actually managed to shrug off a challenge from the Thrashers as the Pens carried a 3 goal lead)

The Jordan Staal award is issued to Michael Rupp...again. His attempts to defend the goal by falling are truly awe-inspiring. Please keep it up!

As well as Talbot played last season, we haven't quite determined whether or not he deserves his self-proclaimed "Superstar" title. But we did learn something new from his actions last night. He was awarded a penalty shot, which we had not seen the Pens earn before. Apparently these are awarded in lieu of a power play when the shooter is clearly robbed of a goal opportunity. In this case, the Thrashers goalie dislodged the net, causing delay of game as it was reset. Talbot failed to score, but the Pens still came out with a 3-2 victory.

photo credit: lolcats

SSDD. Or days, I should say. Serious lack of entertainment recently. The Pens' last California game was even worse than the two previous, leading to a 5-0 loss against the Sharks. We were optimistic that a return to the east coast would provide a much-needed boost...but we were wrong. So sadly wrong. Tuesday's game against Boston put the Penguins on the dark side of another shutout (3-0). Fleury left the ice with about 90 seconds remaining in the game so that the offensive line could gain an extra man. This turned out to be a great decision...for the Bruins. Assistant captain Patrice Bergeron shoveled the puck from in front of his goal to land in the empty net on the opposite side of the rink, scoring the final Bruins goal with less than 4 seconds remaining.

As if we needed another reminder, luck is not on the Penguins side at the moment. Tuesday's game added Brooks Orpik to the Disabled List, where he joins Max Talbot, Sergei Gonchar, Evgeni Malkin, Tyler Kennedy and Kris Letang. In short, everyone is broken. Apparently assistant manager Tom Fitzgerald suffered a serious foot injury over the summer, and Penguins' president David Morehouse even suffered a heart attack while preparing to leave California this week. Luckily he is being treated and is expected to recover. It's not really worth a recap today. Suffice to say, we wish them luck in tomorrow's game against New Jersey...they're going to need it.

Photo credit:  http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/photos?photoId=272111&gameId=291105008

We're going to have to combine this week's games between the Pens and Ducks/Kings as not much happened in either game and they both had similar dastardly endings.  We’re still missing Malkin,  Gonchar and Talbot and even the return of Kennedy couldn’t make up for their absence.  The highlight of Tuesday’s game (Ducks) was Crosby’s baseball inspired slide into the goal to keep the Ducks from scoring. As far as Thursday’s game, although the Kings scored the first goal, Staal managed to tie the game within a minute of the Kings scoring their first goal and less than a minute and a half into the game.   No one seemed more confused than Staal who appeared genuinely surprised that his shot went in (see above picture).  We also really enjoyed Adams’ check, which resulted in the shattering of one of the rink’s glass panes, and the 5 minute intermission it took for someone to find a piece of glass that was the right size to replace it.  Here are this week’s combined totals for Staal falls:

 

++Total times Jordan Staal fell: 3

 

++Most people involved in a Staal fall: None

 

++Staal falls resulting in a goal: 1 (technically he scored the goal right before he was tripped but it was still a goal with a fall)

 

++Number of times Crosby landed in the box (since Malkin is currently out of commission): 1

 

++Jordan Staal award for excellence in falling this game goes to:  Number 11 on the King’s for a Staal-worthy faceplant into the boards during the second third.

 

Finally those of us at Staal Falls would like to extend a hearty WTF to the NHL and all of their currently injured players.  According to our count nearly all of our favorite players arecurrently injured.  This list includes Malkin, Gonchar, Eric Staal, Ovechkin, Talbot, Kovalchuk, and as of this afternoon Cam Ward.  We’ve noticed that this list includes a large number of assistant captains as well as players recently having encountered the Columbus Blue Jackets (we smell a conspiracy).  We hope these guys get better soon and that Flower, Jordan Staal, Semin and Crosby are all taking care of themselves as they’re all that’s left of our favorite players.  Be safe guys!  -Slick and Riz

photo credit: www.google.com/hostednews/ap


I know you're excited, Sid, but that goofball look is not cute. Oh, what am I saying...it's all cute. Sidney Crosby celebrated the anniversary of his first NHL hat trick on Wednesday by getting another hat trick, this one against the Montreal Canadiens. The Canadiens were apparently coming off a winning streak before they took on the Pens, but you wouldn't know it from the way they played...final score: Pens' victory, 6-1. Our recap:



++Times Jordan Staal fell: 2 (thanks in part to a highstick to the eye area)



++Most people involved in a Staal fall: 2



++Staal falls resulting in a goal: 0



++Number of times Malkin landed in the box: 1



++Fights: Nothing of note this time

This one was pretty much a smackdown. The Canadiens actually started out very strong and quick, but it didn't last. Tonight's Jordan Staal Award is hereby co-awarded to Matt Cooke and Michael Rupp...for sheer volume.

photo credit: www.outofhans.com/archives/2009/02/i_am_blogging_t.html

Martin Brodeur is commonly considered on of the best goalies in the NHL, and it showed in Saturday's Pens vs. Devils game. Sorry Flower, you've got nothing on this guy. The matchup was only one more battle in the long-standing rivalry between the two teams, which led to, as the announcers put it, some "extracurricular activities" on the ice. Our recap:

++Times Jordan Staal fell: 2

++Most people involved in a Staal fall: 2

++Staal falls resulting in a successful goal: 0 (Well, really, they only had one in the whole game...)

++Malkin's trips to the box: 0

++Fights: Several of a small nature

The Pens put up a good fight, but couldn't slip anything past Brodeur. The pulled out all the defensive stops; Matt Cooke checked a Devil so hard that he nearly took out the plexiglass, but luck was not with the Pens. Maybe Gonchar's absence was finally catching up with them as well. In any case, the final score was a disappointing 4-1 loss.

As far as the Jordan Staal award, it is hereby awarded to Evgeni Malkin for this game. In a last-ditch scoring attempt in the second period, he took on Brodeur with high speed and was a little late veering out of the way. A Devil defenseman was in the way, and Malkin slipped his stick underneath his opponent's mask as he huddled on the ice, then leap-frogged over him for a quasi-successful landing. It could have been more amusing, but losing 4-1 puts a damper on things. Better luck next time...

photo credit: www.coedmagazine.com/tag/nhl

Sidney was back in last Friday's game against the Florida Panthers, scoring both Pens goals during regulation and the only successful goal of the final shootout. Gonchar was still out from injury, as expected, and it looked as if the Penguins were having a bit of a tough time adjusting. Also, we at Staal Falls (yes, all two of us) have a soft spot for Marc-Andre Fleury, so it was disappointing to see him absent from his usual spot between the posts. We must admit, however, that backup goalie Brent Johnson did a pretty great job, especially in the second half of the game. Fun fact: Brent is the son of former Pens goalie Bob Johnson, and the two represent the only father-son goalie pair in the NHL. And now our recap:

++Times Jordan Staal fell: 2

++Most people involved in a Staal fall: 4

++Staal falls resulting in a goal: 0

++Malkin's trips to the box: 0

++Fights: 2

++Notable fights: During the early part of the second period, Kunitz and Ballard apparently grew tired of all the shoving in front of the goal, so they decided to take their showdown to center ice. After skating around and posturing a bit, they lost the helmets and started a boxing match. This is as good a representation as any:


The game looked like bad news for the Pens, but they came around in the third period. A 5-on-3 situation finally allowed the Penguins their first goal of the game, helped along by a fantastic dive pass from Malkin which kept the puck in the offensive zone. He also came back to assist Sid for the final goal, less than 5 minutes from the end of regulation time. Best moment of hilarity came from the Panthers' David Booth, who lost his stick and, instead of retreiving it, simply picked up the puck and threw it down-ice. Needless to say, penalties were called...handballs are not allowed in hockey anymore than they're allowed in soccer.

As far as the Jordan Staal Award...I believe the first recipient may have to be Staal himself. His first fall of the game was some sort of spinning faceplant in front of the Pens goal. Though no points were scored (he was on defense) it did make for a spectacular block against a Florida shooter. A fine example of the way Staal employs his falling strategy for the betterment of the team.

photo credit: http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/30651551/ns/sports-nhl/

Yes, I'm aware this is a photo from last season, but Sergei does seem to be having a rather good tantrum. He left the ice during Tuesday's game against the St. Louis Blues with what turned out to be a broken wrist. There was some speculation at the time that he left simply because the Blues sucked so bad, but he was in fact injured. Gonchar should be returning to game play in 4-6 weeks; in the meantime, the Pens will have to adjust to playing without him. They didn't seem to have a problem with that while battling the Blues:

++Times Jordan Staal fell*: 0 (again!)

++Number of times Malkin ended up in the box*: 0...but Crosby landed there twice ??

++Number of fights: 3

++Notable fights: The end of the first period saw Crosby in a cat fight with a Blues opponent after Crosby was checked into the boards. It was so cute.

This game looked like a near-repeat of the Lightning game last weekend. The Pens played aggressively against an opposing team that could barely put up a fight. They did have a little trouble getting back into the groove during the second, when Malkin attempted 3 back-to-back shots on goal and was blocked each time. The camera managed to capture him mouthing "F*ck!" after the third attempt, proving that Malkin does, in fact, know some English. Not that you could tell from his interviews :D Goals by Malkin, Kennedy, Cooke, Fedotenko and Goligosky closed the game with a 5-1 Pens victory.

*This is getting ridiculous. Staal managed a full-on axel to avoid falling over a Blues player's leg. Did they swap him for one of his brothers in the off-season, or what? And what's this with Malkin staying out of the box and Sid ending up there instead? We may have to shift our focus a bit. From here on out, we will try to bestow the Jordal Staal Award for Excellence in Falling on another player in each game.

photo credit: http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/41557/sidney_crosby_winter_classic_medium.jpg

photo credit: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/gallery/featured/GAL1000404/1/index.htm

Monday night's game vs. the Ottawa Senators was rather uneventful. But we got to see Canadian TV and it was wicked awesome! The announcers began the game by welcoming everyone to the nation's capital, and my first thought was, "Wait, they're not playing the Capitals. I would know if Ovie and Sasha were there, right?" Then I remembered...of course, there are other countries! Silly American. So I enjoyed hearing about the mould-guard flooring products and constant requests to purchase Centre Ice. How quaint. Ottawa's fans were really into the game. I guess there's not a lot to get pumped about when you're staring into the abyss of a Canadian winter, so they take their excitement where they can get it. Our recap:

photo credit: http://www.zimbio.com/Scott+Hartnell/pictures/pro

Well, this should theoretically be our second entry as last night’s game was this season’s second game but thanks to the idiots at TWC who decided to show baseball on Friday instead of hockey, we missed the game. Unfortunately for us, Jordan Staal was unexpectedly graceful during last night’s game and we were forced to keep tally of other important events in order to stay busy. So here’s last night’s tally:

++Times Jordan Staal fell: 4.5 (we gave him the half since his first official fall was actually a result of someone shoving him and not of his own volition).

++Most people involved in a Staal fall: 5

++Number of Staal falls accompanied by a succesful goal: 0

++Number of times Malkin ended up in the box: 1 (but he was accompanied by both Guerin and Rupp so it was more like a party than a penalty)

++Number of fights: 5 (impressively high for such a close game).

++Notable fights: The first fight of the game, which was more of a long bear hug than a fight, and the fight involving McKee (#74) where we’re pretty sure he was trying to bite the other guy’s neck, prompting Slick to comment that the Pens clearly “spent the off-season catching up on Twilight.”

Overall an exciting game, not just because of the Pens’ win but because I finally got to see a game end in a shootout. I always manage to miss those and according to the Mighty Ducks movies, all hockey games should end in a shootout. Next Wednesday’s count will be brought to you by Slick as I have some important retracting to do. Hopefully we’ll also have some pictures up of our Jack-o-lanters. :)

-Riz